First Talkshow in Alegasia
by Merrit Jade
Summary: I'm the host of the first talk show in Alegasia, and everything goes completely wrong, randomness included.


What would happen if Alegasia had a TV show

(Brom clears his throat and takes a sip of tea.)

"Do you feel awake at night? Can you not sleep? Well, Lunesta is-"

I nudged Brom, "Dude, that's the wrong sheet." Brom nodded and switched papers.

"Dear Prime Minister, I-" Brom stopped and looked at me. I shook my head.

"Progress report. In Math you have-" I grabbed the paper from him and put it in a paper shredder while grinning at the camera.

"This show begins with" (another sip of tea) "me introducing me because Im not important enough to have an announcer for an announcer even though I have done more than anyone in this room." (I stomped on his foot.). "I'm Brom, and I have no last name, thanks to Christopher Parlini. This is my assistant M-" I stomped on his foot. "Ow! I mean, I'm Merrit's assistant even though I'm ten times better then her." I stomped on his foot again. "OW! I mean she is ten times better than me, so I will hand it to her."

I grabbed the microphone from his hand and flashed a million dollar smile and shrugged while they played canned cheering and had paid people throw roses at my feet. "Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show. This is the first broadcasting, and brom should had told you that. But, I was thinking, who are the celebrities in Alegasia? I mean, other than me. Well, I believe they are the leaders, the protectors, and the restorers. They are they people that make it safe, they make a just world, with liberty and fairness!" I raised my fist in the air. There was more phony applauding. Someone turned on a fan in my face so my hair flew out behind me. I flashed a smile and flipped my hair. "Well, I have choosen a close friend of mine to come." I sighed. "We have known each other a long time. Unfortunately he couldn't make it. But he now joins us by satellite! Please welcome the fabled Dragon Rider Eragon!" No one came on the stage. There was no applaud. I looked around. "Please welcome Eragon!" I said again. Someone came on the stage, it was the director dude.

"Satellites don't exist yet." He whispered in my ear. My eyes got big and I nodded.

"Well, we seem to be having some," I looked for the right word, "Era difficulties, get it Era? Like Era-gon? haaha And satellites don't seem to have been invented yet. So until then I'll-" Eragon wondered onto stage.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"Look, he is here!" I smiled and began clapping. Canned weeping began playing. I turned my head to the special effects guy. He shrugged and I glared at him. He gasped and realized his mistake and changed it back to cheering. I raised my eyebrows and turned my attention back to Eragon.

"Welcome to the show!" I greeted flashing my pearly white teeth.

"The show?" he asked.

"Uh…yeah! We're on live." I pushed my hair back. Eragon suddenly went pale and passed out. I stood there with my mouth open. Then a swarm off bees came in and forced me to shut it. While a few insect killer dudes ran around trying to kill the bees I remembered the camera was still on I looked up and smiled.

"Everything is just fine. We are having a few difficulties, and we will be back after a break." I waved and hit the floor to avoid the bees flying over my head. As soon as we were off live TV I stomped over the director.

"THIS IS NOT GOING WELL!!" I yelled at him.

"Well, just a few insects and, look, he is waking up!" Eragon w as waking up and I ran over to him.

"Look, you are on the first Alegasia show, please! Don't pass out!"

"Who passed out?" asked some doctor.

"Eragon!" I yelled at him.

"What?" he called back.

"Eragon!!" I screamed at him.

"What!!"

"NEVER MIND!"

"We are live in 5-4-3-2-1-on!" I didn't hear the director because of the doctor and I stomped to the makeup lady.

"My hair is curly! I don't want my hair cur-oh hi every one. Welcome back to the show. As you can see, Eragon has woken up and is ready for-" a insect control guy crashed into me. "You Pervert!!" I screamed at him. I looked at the camera and shrugged sweetly.

"Where is the pervert?" called some cops while they ate doughnuts.

"No, I think it was an accident." I said smiling. It was too late, the cops were already hurling doughnuts at the insect dude. I franticly looked around and saw the doctor chasing Eragon, The cops chasing the insect dude while thronging doughnuts at him, and the bees being sprayed at by a few other insect controllers. Arya wondered in.

"ARYA!" Eragon yelled at her. She screamed and began running with Eragon right behind her. Then she saw the doughnut throwing cops.

"Save the jelly doughnut! No, the chocolate sprinkles! No, pineapple twist, nono! Or the cream filled! NO, wait, glazed or plain! Or-" the list went on and on as she chased the cops with Eragon on her tail. I was standing there just watching nearly in tears. The makeup crew was flinging brushes at each other having another fight before they were attacked by the bees. They ran around screaming batting around there heads. An inset dude pulled out a smoke pump to try to make the bees sleepy and calm down. My mouth dropped and I ran at him. I leaped into the air with all fours out trying to tackle him. It was to late. The smoke went up and made the alarms go off. Then the ceiling sprinklers went off soaking everything. I fell onto my knees and began bawling. Canned weeping played and I made a mental note to murder the special effects guy.

Later that night I plopped down in front of the TV with a bowl of popcorn. I turned it on to the news.

"_Hello, and good evening. _

_This is Iceidia on the Alegasia daily news at nine, even though it isn't nine but it still sounds cool._

(some one throws a toaster at her.)

"_Hey! Well, anyway. Today at the Alegasian studios, Merrit was hosting the first ever talk show. But, to our surprise, it turned out to be a hilarious comedy. See for yourself:" _

My mouth dropped and I shook my head. A picture spun onto the screen. It was what the video man had filmed at the beginning with brom, to the end when everything got soaked. I watched it dumbstruck. Then my phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked wondering who it was.

"Hello, is this Merrit?" a voice asked.

"yes, this is her."

"Ok, this is William Hill, chief executive of the Alegasia Universal studios." I dropped the phone. The CEO called _me_.

"Uh, Ok…" I said gasping for breath.

"Is everything Ok? I heard a clatter."

"Uh,thatwasjustthecat." I said really fast.

"OK. Well, the comedy you hosted was hilarious, and people love that sort of thing. Do you think, this show could go all over Alegasia, or maybe, all over the globe? That sort of thing is the next Alegasian idol. The way you did the show today, I can see you a star someday." I gasped and dropped the phone again.

"Uh, haha, Ok."

"Well, you did all of it, right? It was no one else's idea, right?" I paused, then dropped the phone again before packing to hide in Mexico.

The end-ith

Ok, that was just a single story, no other chapters. Hope you enjoyed!

PS: No camera dudes, director dudes, insect dudes, cops, Eragons, Aryas, Broms, CEOs, makeup people, or news reporters were harmed in the making of this parody. Oh, except the special effects guy.


End file.
